Falling Out of Focus Read online

  “Gavin?”

  I nodded. “And I’m not leaving without him.”

  Mabellio and Oliver exchanged glances then Mabellio moved to help Gavin out of the restraints. I took the other side and helped to steady Gavin when he fell forward once he was free. We carried him out of the water and onto the shore, following Oliver towards the lit tree line to the left. Oliver remained ready to let loose his arrows in the event that whatever was making that shrill sound crossed our path. The sound followed us for some time before it finally faded into the background. Mabellio was doing a much better job at carrying Gavin than I was. I kept dropping my side and we’d all stumble a bit before we could continue on.

  “Can we stop here?”

  “No,” Mabellio whispered. “We’re still being watched. We have to get back to our home, and then Golar and the healers can help your friend.”

  I stopped short. “I don’t want to go back there.”

  He gave me an odd look, but it was Oliver who responded. “Do you want Gavin to die?”

  “No!”

  “Then stop being so stubborn and belligerent and walk faster.”

  I wanted to lash out at him, retaliate at his brashness, but the sound of branches snapping held my opinions and my tongue. Instead, we all moved faster. When we reached the invisible entrance, Mabellio spoke two words in his language and we were instantly transported inside and finally sheltered from whatever it was that was following us. A small group of fae approached and took Gavin out of our hands. Each one examining him to see the nature of his injuries. The tallest male barked orders and the other male waved his hands in a crisscross fashion, literally raising Gavin from the ground until he was free-floating. The females proceeded to follow along beside him as they took him to a thatched hut off to the right. It was like a magical fairy version of the ER––two doctors and the nurses rushing to get their patient stable.

  “Is he going to be all right?”

  “They are our best healers. He should be fine,” Mabellio said before gripping my shoulders. “I get that you are not from our world and do not understand what is surrounding you, but when Oliver and I tell you it’s not safe, do not argue. Just move. You could have gotten us all killed.”

  “I––I didn’t…”

  “No, you didn’t. If you run off again, I will not help to save you. I have a family of my own here, and while you are important, you are not more important than they are. Do you understand me?” Mabellio said in a firm but quiet voice.

  I didn’t reply, instead I just nodded my head. What the hell was that out there and why was it so dangerous? I wondered.

  Mabellio walked away without another word, leaving Oliver and I alone. It was several long moments before Oliver finally turned to look at me. “You scared me, Novaleigh.”

  My eyes flashed to his, and I sunk to the ground. “Okay, but why?” I quipped as I put my hands in my hair.

  “That man you met, the one with the pale, cracked face, was the Erlking. He is the warden of the in-between and he feeds off anger and pain. If we had not come along when we did, I don’t know what he would have done to you.” Oliver sighed. “Your energy was radiating so much, and he was looking at you as if you were his perfect meal.”

  I lifted my head to look at Oliver. “But he said he was after the one who hurt Gavin. I didn’t hurt Gavin. I found him like that. Hell, I didn’t even now that was him until I spoke to him. I just thought he was some injured man.”

  Oliver stared at me for a brief moment, as if he were trying to find the right words to explain the situation. He even opened and closed his mouth several times before he actually spoke. “Did you ever hurt Gavin, Novaleigh?”

  My mouth gaped open. “Not physically,” I stammered. “He and I…” I stood in one quick motion, feeling the need to run again. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about it, Oliver.”

  “I figured you’d say that,” he said with a slight shake of his head. “We have to stay here until the Lunatishee find someone else to bother.”

  “The who?”

  “Lunatishee. They guard the blackthorn trees and pay homage to the moon goddess with their efforts. Anyone who dares to take anything from their blessed tree is attacked. They are who was in the forest following us. They hate humans and relish the opportunity to poison them with the thorny spikes on their skin,” Oliver explained as he sat down beside me. “But their poison can affect us too, just differently than your kind.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Will Gavin die?”

  “I can’t say for certain, but he was in bad shape.”

  I bit my bottom lip, hoping to contain the ache in my chest. “Wait. I didn’t touch any trees. Why would they have attacked?”

  “You didn’t, but the Erlking did. He loves to cause mischief. He cut the branches and used them to bind Gavin. Then, all he had to do was wait. Gavin would be attacked and his pain would fuel the Erlking for a time, but then you came along.”

  “But how did he know I would come along, or anyone for that matter?” I questioned.

  “Energy. Sacrife is a mecca for it. All things here emit some sort of frequency, some more than others. When you ran out of Golar’s home and left the security of this place you offset the balance. The rift is what he felt, then you, along with the Lunatishee, became his pawns.”

  “Can I go home now? Please?”

  He grinned slightly. “No. Not until you acknowledge your pain and move passed it.”

  “This is crap, Oliver. I don’t want to face anything. I don’t need to be fixed.”

  “Novaleigh, you have fallen out of focus. Lost sight of who you are and what you truly want to be. You’ve lived too long with the idea that your choice to follow your career was the correct one.”

  “How do you know this?” I whined.

  He gave me a sideways glance. “I told you. You told us all when you were in your dream state. It was never our intention to spy, but you were talking in your sleep. It’s normal for your kind to work through your pain in your dreams,” Oliver offered.

  I wrung my hands together. “I hate that I did that.”

  “But you did, so let me help you.”

  “Okay. Fine. Then please tell me why choosing myself for once in my life and wanting to pursue my dreams was a bad decision?”

  “It wasn’t. You lost your way when you made it the most important thing in your life. Tell me this, what did you lose when you made the choice to leave Scotland and go to New York?”

  I swallowed hard. What the hell? Was fairy wine a friggin’ truth serum too? It’s like I spilled my guts. Hell, I never even kept a diary for fear that someone might stumble upon it one day and instantly know all my deepest and darkest secrets, and yet three glasses of fairy wine and I’d sang like a damn canary?

  “A lot. My best friend for one, and then my mom was disappointed when I decided to move back to New York with my dad instead of following her to Glasgow. By that time they were officially divorced. Part of me blamed her for him leaving, but I realized after a while why my mom had had enough.” I shifted on the ground and made myself a little more comfortable. Guess it’s truth telling time. “My dad was temperamental and wanted to live a life without any attachments. At first, he wanted me to come with him to spite my mom, but when the reality of him having to manage a not-quite-adult set in, he found it tiresome. He was gone more than he was around. I eventually graduated from college and found a great job and moved out. He was elated. It was then that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my mom had chosen to live her life in peace instead of according to my dad’s whims.”

  “That’s a lot in and of itself, but that was not all, now was it?” Oliver asked.

  “No.” I bit my lip again. “When I left Scotland, I left my grandparents and Gavin too.” I looked over at Oliver, hoping to be able to stop at that first batch of truth, but instead of a pass, he just waited silently for me to continue. “You’re not gonna let me off with anything brief are you
?”

  He shook his head. “Sorry.”

  “I was very close to my grandparents, and I spent almost every day with them. They were my dad’s parents, but my mom was close to them too. In fact, she was closer to them than they were to their own son. He was distant and cold. My mom and I were warm and loving. It was the perfect combination. When my dad left, they were my mom’s support system. She was American but moved to Scotland and gained her citizenship after a time. She’s a professor at the University of Glasgow. She’s an amazing artist and a wonderful teacher. Her students adore her.” I smiled.

  “Why did you choose your father over her then?”

  I sat for a moment, pondering Oliver’s question. Why had I chosen him over her? I didn’t really have a reason. I’m very close to my mom. I talk to her all the time, and she’s always been my biggest advocate, even when I pushed her away. I was angry, though, and had wanted to lash out. I chose to take it out on her. “What is it that they say? You always hurt the ones you’re closest too or something like that.” I choked on my words. “She was my safe place to fall, but I didn’t want anyone to catch me then, I just wanted to run.”

  Two female fairies flitted towards us, waving their arms frantically and talking in a squeaky high-pitched tone that was practically inaudible. I assume it was harder to understand them since they were their true size as opposed to mine, but Oliver seemed to make out what they were saying and stood to follow them. When I didn’t move right away, Oliver gave me a dirty look and waved me on.

  “Sorry. Coming,” I sassed.

  We finally made it to a clearing and continued to follow the fairies as they flew to a large cottage. Mabellio and Golar were waiting near the door when we got there. My heart sank the moment I saw their faces.

  “What’s wrong? Where’s Gavin?”

  Mabellio grabbed my shoulders as I tried to barge through the door. “He’s fine.” He paused. “Now.”

  “Oh my God,” I cried. “I want to see him.”

  Golar spoke in a calm, soothing tone. “You may, but understand he will need time to heal before he can journey anywhere. You both are welcome to stay, along with Oliver, of course, until he is able.”

  I nodded my head quickly. “Thank you.” I started to walk through the doorway but turned back towards Golar and Mabellio. “Do you know how or why he is even here? I am utterly confused. This is my dream. My nightmare. How is he a part of that?”

  “I’m not certain I can answer that, Novaleigh, but I suspect that you can,” Golar replied.

  “Me? How would I know? I don’t even understand how I’m here.” I shook my head in confusion and pushed open the door. I walked down a small corridor and saw him lying there, on a wooden bed. There were fairies flying around checking him every few seconds. It was odd and confusing and while my mind was trying to comprehend what was happening, the logical part of my brain was trying to connect the dots to something realistic. The way Gavin was laying, slightly propped up, and the way they were caring for him, it seemed as though it was hospital of sorts. I am seriously losing my mind. Yes, my best friend, sort of almost fiancé, is lying here in a fairy hospital in the middle of who knows where, being treated for wounds in a land I’ve created in my mind. Yep, totally lost it. Congratulations on your insanity, Novaleigh. You’ve hit the jackpot this time.

  A human looking fae walked in as I stood next Gavin. At first he didn’t even acknowledge me but finally looked in my direction. “Is he going to be okay? He hasn’t opened his eyes,” I asked.

  “The wounds on his wrists were deep and infected, but we gave him a special mixture of turmeric, goldenrod, and yarrow. Also, Golar used her healing magic to help speed up the healing in his entire body. I’m not sure when he will wake, but he was calling out your name earlier. It will be good for him that you’re here.”

  I reached for Gavin’s hand, careful not to touch the blend of leaves and flowers covering his gashes, and held it. I needed to feel him, know he was real. He stirred but immediately fell quiet again. The male fae started to walk out of the room, but I stopped him. “Thank you.”

  He gave a clipped nod and left Gavin and I alone.

  I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand. “How did we get here?”

  Chapter Nine

  Mom: I’m sending you a plane ticket.

  I slowly reached for my phone and texted my mom back.

  Novi: Mom we’ve talked about this and I’m too old to move home and mooch off you. I’ll get it together. Promise.

  Mom: Nonsense. It will only be temporary. I know you’re just in a tough spot at the moment, and I want to help.

  I stared at her words, knowing she was right but was unwilling to admit it to her or myself. I guess I took too long to respond to my mom’s texts because the next ones came in rapid succession.

  Mom: I think you need to go ’home’ to renew yourself.

  Mom: The house is empty right now, and I can make one quick call and have Duncan get the place ready for a visit.

  Mom: You can stay as long as you want. No strings attached.

  Mom: And before you say no again, remember it was always the place that centered you.

  Tears started to well in my eyes. She was right––again.

  ‘Home’ was Scotland. Not where I was born but where my heart was. It was, and always will be, the place I loved most in the world. Words like peace and tranquility were what came to mind when I thought of the Isle of Skye.

  Novi: I want to, Mom, but I have bills to pay, and I really need to keep searching for a new job. Let me think about it.

  Novi: And thank you, Mom for always believing in me! ILY

  Mom: Love you too, Novaleigh.

  Wow, she must really be worried if she’s using my full name in a text. Guess I should do more than just think about her offer, but it wasn’t without its hassles. Leave my apartment, find someone to water my plants, and travel across the world just for some “R and R”? I mean, it seems a bit extreme when you think about it. I had just hit a rough patch. I can handle it. This too shall pass, and I’ll find an even better job.

  I rolled over and stared at the clock. 10:43 am. Usually, by this point in my day, I would’ve already answered all my emails, checked off half of my “to do’s”, and started on the latest manuscript in the slush pile. A slush pile so large that I had to move it from the wooden inbox on my desk to an actual box I set on the floor next to the window in my office. It was always there, looming over me, but it never felt like work. I loved it when another manuscript was dropped off, awaiting perusal and approval. In fact, I got a kick out of the different ways authors used to get someone to notice their work above all the others in the stack. I’d make it a game––finish a book, draft my notes into a Word.doc and attach them to the front with a sticky note before handing them over to their next destination. Some went to Mr. Kline for further review, while some went to Susan to fill in the proper names in the rejection form letter.

  At that point I’d play "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” to choose my next read. I had to read them all and deciding who was worthy of being read first seemed heartless to the author who had spent countless hours writing what they believed to be a perfect masterpiece. So instead, I let fate decide what book I would delve into. I gave each one my undivided attention, and since I was a speed reader, I could go through at least three books a week, if not more. But now, here I am, staring at the clock and wondering if I had anything edible in my fridge to have for a snack.

  I picked up my phone again, paused, and then acted. Enough was enough.

  Novi: Please tell me how much the ticket costs and you have a deal.

  I hit the send button and sighed. Admitting defeat was not my strong suit.

  Mom: Pay the courier when they deliver the package and we’ll call it even. :P And if you are still there, I’ll join you over the spring holiday. OXOXO

  I grinned.

  Novi: Well, hopefully I’ll have my act together before then, Mom, but if not, I’d
love to spend some time with you. I miss you terribly. I think the last time we were there together was at Nanna’s funeral. Better memories would be great.

  Mom: Yes they would. I’ll see you soon and talk to you sooner. Got to run. Class is about to start.

  Novi: <3

  I looked around my apartment and wondered where to start first. The temperatures in Scotland this time of year were not too different from the temperatures here in New York, but I may need a few things I wouldn’t need here. Time to make a shopping list.

  “Novaleigh. Novaleigh,” Oliver repeated as he shook me awake. “Let me sit with Gavin and you go get some rest.” I shook my head, but he insisted. “Please. You’re talking in your sleep again,” he said with a sad smile.

  I hadn’t even realized I fell asleep. I looked up and saw Mabellio waiting by the door. “Let me escort you to your temporary dwelling.”

  I nodded sleepily and walked to meet him. “You know, I’ve taken a lot of your time today. Your family must be missing you.”

  Mabellio grinned. “My wife is an understanding woman, her and the children.”

  “Nonetheless, please thank her for me. I don’t know how I could ever repay everyone’s kindness here.”

  “That’s not how we are, Novaleigh. We do things because it’s the right thing to do, not because we’re expecting something in return,” Mabellio replied.

  I smiled. “My nanna used to say that too.”

  He turned and led me towards a large oak tree at the edge of the clearing. It was a massive tree with a window jutting out of the middle of it. It even had a lit lamp post out front and a door that maybe came to my waist with a knocker handle in the center. I looked at him and he leaned down to open the door. “It’s bigger than it looks. The stairs will take you upstairs to the main dwelling. Oliver or I will come get you if there is any change in Gavin. Please just rest. No offense, but you look exhausted.”

  I could only imagine how I looked if it compared to how I was feeling. I’d tried to be strong for so long and it was catching up with me. The world felt heavy, and I’d been carrying it for some time now. Mabellio was right. I needed to sleep. On the upside, maybe I’d wake up and be home and Gavin would be safe and sound in Scotland.