Falling Out of Focus Read online

  The wood bridge creaked as I crossed, but it held my weight just like the stairs. Magic again, I suppose. Oliver reached the end of the path and came to a halt. There was nothing in front of him, yet he stopped and pulled out something from within his satchel.

  “Again, I have to ask...how much stuff do you have in that bag, Oliver? It’s like a damn clown car.” I laughed.

  He shook his head and turned back to what he was doing. “What is a clown car?”

  “Nothing. Never mind. Why have you stopped?”

  “There is a wall here. I need to ask for permission...” his words trailed off as I slid up next to him, trying to see the wall he was speaking of.

  “Is it invisible, or am I just missing it?”

  He shook his head. “The fairy realm is hidden from view. You can only see their home if they want you to.”

  I sat silent and listened to him speak another language as he swung a gold necklace in the shape of a tree in a circular motion. “What is that?”

  “A replica of their sacred thorn tree. Golar will appreciate it,” Oliver stated confidently between his chanting.

  “How do you know this queen? You seemed on friendly terms with the fae we met last night. What was his name again?”

  “Mabellio,” Oliver blurted.

  “Got it. Mabellio and Golar. I’m good with names. I won’t embarrass you,” I said as I stood still.

  The invisible wall became fluid and the sound of gleeful singing filled the air. Oliver motioned for me to follow him. I stepped through the wall and was welcomed by a hundred or so tiny fae. Some of them were flying overhead, while others dangled from the leaves on the trees above. They were calling out and saying blessed greetings as Oliver and I continued to walk towards a large glowing tree. The tree was massive, at least fifty feet tall and was covered in little glinting lights that shimmered on the tips of the branches. It was magnificent.

  Mabellio held up his hand and asked that we wait a moment. “The queen will be along momentarily. Can we get you something to drink?” he asked.

  “Pear juice would be lovely, thank you,” Oliver replied.

  Mabellio looked at me. I nodded quickly. “That sounds wonderful, thank you.”

  A handful of fairies dressed in dark shades of green and gold gowns landed on my shoulder and began playing with my hair.

  “So pretty,” one exclaimed.

  “Colorful.”

  “Soft,” a third called out and she ran her fingers through the strands. “We like to comb our hair, do you?”

  I smiled. “Well, yes, sometimes.”

  “Sometimes,” she said curiously. “Do you not care for it every day?”

  “I wash and dry it, but I’ve never really been big on styling it if that’s what you mean.”

  “Oh dear,” the three cried out and pulled jewel encrusted combs from hidden pockets within their dresses. “We’ll fix you,” they sang as they began to stroke my hair.

  I glanced over at Oliver who just gave me a terse smile. He wasn’t going to be any help. I’m not sure how much time passed before Golar emerged from a door within the tree but one thing was for sure, I had now been bedazzled. Leaves and feathers had been woven into my hair, thanks to the three fae stylists. I had sat to get comfortable while they played with my locks, but now that their queen arrived, they all rose and bowed. I followed suit, of course.

  There wasn’t any pomp and circumstance as I assumed there would be, instead, Golar waved at the gathered crowd and walked towards Oliver and me.

  “It is wonderful to see you again, Oliver,” the queen said with a hint of glee in her voice.

  I’m not sure what I expected to see, but she was far from any assumptions I’d made. Golar could not have been more than six inches tall and was dressed in a lavishly rich chocolate brown gown. It was hard to see, but as she moved, the thread on her dress cast hues of orange and gold. I watched her intently as she and Oliver carried on their pleasantries. Her hair was halfway down her back and was a shimmer of amber and blonde. Her skin was pale, almost transparent in the sun, and her voice sounded like pure joy. She was captivating.

  The small queen turned her attention to me and flew on her gossamer wings until we were almost face to face. “And you must be, Novaleigh.”

  “I am,” I replied a little too breathy and blew the queen backwards a bit. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!”

  The queen giggled and adjusted her dress and hair as she flew back towards me. “I don’t see many your size. I shall make a concession to make our visit more enjoyable.” She turned to the other fae and said something I didn’t understand, but it was clear she told them to move because they all scattered immediately. In a flash, the queen was now as tall as I was. “There,” she said with a smile, “much better.”

  “I’m really so very sorry. I’m not used to meeting queens and you are my second––sorry, third in two days,” I said with a slight curtsy.

  “This is truly our honor. It is not often we meet favored children of Una and Uphren. Thank you for visiting our home.”

  I was dumbfounded. She was honored to meet me? Why on earth?

  “I have to tell you, Golar, you are stunningly beautiful. You’re almost hypnotic to look at and listen to.”

  She smiled and blushed before bowing in my direction. “Your compliments please me greatly. Are you hungry?” she asked Oliver and me.

  We both nodded and followed as she turned to move towards a large banquet table that had appeared out of nowhere. It was covered in greenery, flowers, and every color of leaf you could imagine. There were overflowing trays filled with decadent foods spanning the entire table. Whether this was a dream or not, it really rocked at this point. It felt like I was in the best fairytale that had never been told. And if that wasn’t enough, the fae were turning into life-sized humans as they made their way to the table. I think even Oliver had grown from his usual three feet to almost five. I really need to write this dream down when I wake up. It could totally be a bestseller. I could name it, ‘You Can’t Make This Shit Up’.

  We all sat, and a toast was raised to Oliver and I, and then another to the fae queen and her family. It was lovely, and lively. After we ate, we danced and sang, and then rested in a bed of burgundy leaves. In that moment, I didn’t have a care in the world. Mabellio walked over to where I was laying and asked if I could join him, Golar, and Oliver in the tree. We needed to speak about my visit.

  “Oh. Yes. Of course,” I replied as I stumbled trying to get out of the pile of leaves. Mabellio reached down and pulled me up. He too, was beautiful in a masculine way. Like a perfectly chiseled Armani model. His hair was dark brown, almost black, and his eyes were a perfect blend of hazel-green and gold. “Thank you,” I said as I dusted myself off.

  “No problem.” He pointed towards the tree in the middle of the field. “It’s this way.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  He nodded.

  “Are all of you this hypnotic?”

  He laughed.

  “I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to stare. It’s just that, well, yeah,” I stammered.

  “It’s our fae essence. Usually it’s less noticeable, but when we are this size, it is amplified, if you will.”

  “Oh.” I sighed. “You make me feel drunk.”

  He laughed again. “That may be the fae wine you’ve been drinking.”

  “Really? Okay, whew.” I shook my head. “I mean, you are gorgeous, but drunk off looks seemed a bit shallow.”

  “You are an amusing human, Miss Darrow.”

  “Please, call me Novaleigh.”

  He tilted his head in a slight bow then reached for the door handle on the outside of the tree. I was so busy stammering over Mabellio that I hadn’t realized we had reached our destination. He held open the door and gestured with his hand toward the spiral staircase that wound into the roots of the tree. I used the vine handrail and took each hand-carved step slowly since I was feeling a bit woozy. By the time I r
eached the bottom step I was a tad out of breath.

  “Let me get you some water. The air down here can feel a bit tight if you aren’t used to it,” Mabellio offered.

  He was back in a flash with a leaf shaped like a glass filled with icy cold water. “You’re too kind.”

  “Please sit.”

  I sat down in the chair he pointed to and sank into its softness. The chair was made of woven vines and what looked like a ginormous mushroom for a cushion.

  “You guys have the best stuuuuuufffff,” I slurred.

  Chapter Seven

  I’m not sure how long I was out, but when I woke, Oliver, Golar, and Mabellio were sitting in the chairs across from me, conversing as if I hadn’t been passed out moments ago.

  “I––I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened there. I’m so embarrassed.”

  “Don’t be,” Golar replied. “It looks as though you needed the rest and we’ve been enjoying Oliver’s company in the meantime. How are you feeling?”

  “Better. Thank you”

  “So we have been talking about your journey, Novaleigh, and it seems that you chose to come to my home first. Why is that?” Golar asked with a soft smile.

  My heart began to race and my throat felt as if it were closing in on itself with each breath I took. I didn’t know why I’d chosen Cadent first, and I doubted my true answer of “It looked interesting and this is a crazy whacked out dream so I just followed it” was going to be a proper response. Instead, I sat there dumfounded at the question in general. The longer the three stared at me, the more uncomfortable I became. Inadvertently, I started shaking my head and then finally found my voice.

  “I really don’t know. I thought it was beautiful from the distance and my heart was drawn to it,” I finally said.

  “Exactly. Your heart was drawn to it,” Golar replied.

  “I’m not sure I understand. I don’t think there was anything deep and meaningful to my choice.”

  “Not true. Your heart wants to heal, but your mind is stopping it. The trick is to get the two to meld in unison so you can find your true happiness.”

  I cleared my throat. Heart hammering, hands shaking. “Um, Oliver. Exactly what did you tell them?” I asked pointedly.

  He raised his hands in the air. “I told them nothing, Novi. I swear it.”

  “Then why did this lovely visit turn into an interrogation/therapy session?”

  “I didn’t say anything,” he paused. “You did.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Mabellio looked away awkwardly, and Golar shifted in her seat. Had I spilled my guts in my drunken fairy stupor? Oh God! Oliver walked over to me and placed his paw on my shaky hands as tears spilled down my cheeks.

  “It’s okay. We know now how to help you,” Oliver soothed.

  “Please tell me what I said.” More tears spilled. “Please.”

  “I’ll say this, we know about Gavin.”

  “Oh my god,” I cried. “What the hell is wrong with me?”

  “Nothing,” Golar consoled. “With love comes pain and the greater the love, the greater the pain. These are nothing more than obstacles on the long path to your destiny, Novaleigh. It is how you deal with them that defines them and you.”

  I shook my head feverishly, hoping that I’d shake myself awake and out of this torture. Talk Novi. Get out how you feel and you can be free. Fuck all of that. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want Oliver and Golar’s infinite wisdom. I don’t want to have this conversation. What happened between Gavin and me is my personal burden to bear. I don’t need it fixed. I don’t want it fixed. I am fully aware of the choices I made and the consequences of my decisions. But this here and now, NO! I am not reliving my worst moments to satisfy some screwed up notion of coming clean to be free.

  I stood up and headed for the stairs. “I need to go. Thank you for the hospitality, but I need to leave,” I blurted before I took the first step. “And you.” I pointed to Oliver. “I don’t need a guide anymore either.”

  I ran up the stairs without another word. With each step I took, the voices shouting at me to come back grew further and further away. I pushed open the door and ran out into the darkness. How long had I been out? We came here this morning. I continued to run, following the twinkling lights that were floating in the trees above me. I didn’t know what they were, and at this point, I didn’t really care. I just wanted out.

  The landscape changed from joyful to dismal. I must have left Golar’s hidden home and was now back in the forest I was in last night. My heart was racing, but my feet continued to carry me away from Oliver and his truthsayers. I felt free, as the wind blew through my hair. Maybe you could run yourself into oblivion and either die or wake up, either way, the outcome would create a conclusion. You’re such a fool, Novaleigh, I thought to myself.

  I stopped running when the fall leaves ceased to crunch beneath my feet and the ground, instead, started to feel unsteady. I looked down and realized I was standing in mud which wasn’t the worse part; as I glanced around to see where I was, I learned I wasn’t alone.

  There, before me, was a pond surrounded by large patches of tall grass and spindly trees that swayed gently with the cool breeze. In the middle of the water was a man hunched over, bound to two tree stumps. He was moaning and in pain. I could feel it from where I stood. I moved towards him but stopped when a deep voice spoke in the darkness.

  “Do not touch him.”

  I stood motionless, waiting to see who it was. It didn’t sound like Mabellio, but who else could it be? A slender male stepped out of the tree line and stood in the moonlight. I took in his features and let out a gasp. I didn’t mean to, but the sight of him took me aback. His face was stark white and crackled like dried mud, while his eyes were crimson and his teeth were solid black.

  “Who are you?” I dared to ask.

  “The warden of this land and the keeper of those who dare to cross my path,” he snarled. “And who might you be?”

  “I’m just someone who seems to have taken a wrong turn,” I replied hesitantly.

  “Well, you must be someone important,” he said as his eyes flashed to my hair.

  “I was given favor by the twin queens, Una and Uphren, nothing more.”

  He smirked and tilted his head. “Liar.”

  “I’m not lying. I was given favor.”

  “Of that I am certain. It is the ‘nothing more’ that I doubt.”

  I swallowed hard. I wondered how much leeway I would be afforded with the pink in my hair. Could I save the man bound in the water with my ‘favor’? “Why is this man bound?”

  “Why do you care?”

  “Because he looks like he is in pain, and I want to help him.”

  “You don’t seem like someone who cares about people in pain. He should be of no concern to you.”

  I huffed. What an asshole, but then again he was a warden. What did I expect from him, puppies and kittens? I lifted my chin and steadied my shoulders. “I demand to check on this man and confirm that he’s not been mistreated.”

  “You demand?” the frightening man replied as he continued to glare at me. “He has been mistreated but not by me. I am just here waiting for the one who hurt him to return. It is them whom I wish to find.” He waved his arm the direction of the bound man. “Be my guest.”

  I stepped out of the muck I’d been sinking in and moved to the water’s edge. Slowly, I trudged towards the man until I was close enough to touch him.

  “Sir. Are you okay?”

  Nothing. No reply. I touched the man’s shoulder and he winced. What had happened to him? Why was he bound like this? “I’d like to help you. Can you look at me?” I waited. “Please?”

  The man moved a bit, his arms twisting in the restraints. He struggled and groaned but finally lifted his head to look at me. I gasped and covered my mouth. How? Why? This isn’t happening! were the thoughts that raced through my mind like lightning.

  “Gavin?”

 
; Chapter Eight

  “Novi? Why are you here?”

  “Why are you here?”

  The warden growled and pulled something long and shiny out from underneath the cloak he was wearing. “I had a feeling it was you,” he snarled.

  “Me? What? I didn’t hurt him. I just got here.”

  “His wounds have healed and new ones have been formed. You could easily be his original perpetrator. Step away from him and move to the shore.”

  I didn’t move.

  “Or you can die,” he threatened.

  Just then Oliver and Mabellio came running out of the bushes. “HALT!” Oliver bellowed. We both turned to his booming voice. He was rather loud for an otter. “You are still on Cadent land and you have no jurisdiction here. Leave by order of Golar and the twin queens.”

  The warden moved the large knife and Mabellio, who was still as tall as a human male, raised his spear in warning. The freaky figure turned back to me and flashed a venomous grin my way. “We’ll meet again, I am certain of it. You and I have much to discuss,” he said just before vanishing in a haze of putrid yellow dust.

  “Who the hell was that, and what did I do to piss him off so bad?”

  “I’ll explain later. We must go. It is not safe here.”

  “You always say that, Oliver. I’ll explain later and you never do.”

  “Yes, yes. That may very well be, but believe me when I say we MUST go!” Oliver hissed. “It’s not safe out here in the open.”

  “But why?” I demanded even as Mabellio and Oliver tried to drag me out of the water.

  Before they could answer, a shrill cry echoed through the forest. The three of us froze, unsure of the direction the sound came from. Mabellio pulled out his spear, while Oliver readied his bow.

  “Now, Novaleigh. We have to go now!” Mabellio yelled.

  “Fine, but I’m not leaving him here to die from whatever’s in the forest,” I said as I pointed to Gavin.

  “We can’t take him,” Oliver replied as he stared down the length of the arrow.

  “We have to, Oliver. It’s Gavin.”

  Both Oliver and Mabellio snapped their heads in my direction.